I know what you’re thinking. You think you’ve got everything ready for that day when you slip through that final curtain. Your wills and trusts are up to date. Your financial records are all filed away. You even have a funeral plan ready to go. In your mind, it all makes sense.
Now think about your children. They just lost their parent and are grieving. There’s the obituary to write, and someone has to gather pictures for the funeral. The kids recall that funeral arrangements are planned; they just need to go through the house to find the information. It’s probably in the den or a desk drawer. With just a little effort, they find the binder and open it up for the first time. The kids say it is a miracle that they don’t have to worry about the funeral plans. Just a few decisions need to be made, but everything was pre-paid and ready to go.
But as they start looking around the house, another challenge becomes abundantly clear—you have a lot of “stuff.” Old bedrooms that once housed the children have now become storage rooms. There is plenty that will go to Good-Will, some items that might go to a few grandkids who are needing some kitchenware as they are just getting married, and a few things might be so old and retro, they’ve become cool again. Once sorted out, the real treasures are left. Who will get what? Do the kids and grandkids know the story and legacy behind the treasures and heirlooms? What’s the plan, and is everyone aware?
How about the trust? Do the successor trustees know how to do their jobs? Do they even know what the trust document says? Are there family dynamics that will make their job difficult? Do they know the steps they need to take? What surprises will they encounter? The adage, “You get what you get, so don’t throw a fit,” doesn’t always make for a united family once you pass.
What about the money? Is there an updated list of accounts and assets? Could your children find your statements and understand them, identify the beneficiaries, know who to contact, and how to manage the assets? Do they know the tax consequences of selling the assets? Are the kids prepared to manage these assets properly once divided? Are they equipped to work together to manage assets that can’t be divided easily? Is there a sense of stewardship embedded in the next generation so the wealth, small or large, will bless future generations?
I get it. You are gone, and the stuff doesn’t matter. But your family matters. The lessons you taught matter. Their heritage matters. Memories matter. Some of the things you leave behind represent your values, culture, beliefs, and dreams. In the next series of blog posts, I will provide steps to prepare the next generation to be good stewards of not just the tangible assets but also the stories, heritage, and values from one generation to the next.
